Groom scolds sister for refusing to make free wedding cake after he agrees to pay for it (2023)

Just because someone has a great talent for their hobby doesn't mean they want to do it for free.

Asking for favors that require someone's time means money involved.

case study…

Redditor ilovebaking22 wanted to discuss their experiences and get feedback. So of course she came to visit"I'm the idiot"(AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA for not making a wedding cake for my brother and his bride after refusing to pay me?"

The original poster (OP) stated:

"I (25 year old female) love to bake."

"It's a big passion of mine and something I like to do as a hobby in my spare time."

"I have an Instagram account that I use to showcase my work, which is mainly the cakes I make and decorate."

"I make these cakes for family and friends on birthdays or special occasions (Christmas, Easter, etc.)"

"I never charge for these cakes, but I'm always compensated in some way by my family and friends."

"They usually give me cash or a gift card to my favorite restaurants or make me a meal as a thank you."

"My younger brother (23 years old) and his fiancée (23 years old) were planning their wedding and asked me a few months in advance if I could make the cake for them?"

"That would be my biggest order yet."

"They wanted a three-tiered cake (the wedding was for 75 people) with strawberry shortcake flavor as it's their favorite."

"I was hesitant at first, but I agreed to bake the cake on condition that I was compensated for it."

"I explained to them that this was the biggest job I've ever had and that it would take a lot of time, work and cost."

“I gave them a VERY fair price for a cake of this caliber. They agree."

"I also made it clear that I want to get paid before the wedding."

"I provided them with several sketches of what the cake would look like."

"They sampled the actual cake so they could taste it, and they loved the cake and agreed with everything."

"Go to last week, 6 days before the wedding."

"I contacted my brother about my payment as I wanted to start buying the rest of the ingredients for the cake (minus the strawberries I wanted to make closer to the date so they stay fresh)."

"He assured me he would mail my check the next day."

The next day it arrived, my brother went F[indo] I[n] A[ção] and no check arrived so I tried to contact him again.”

"Next day it arrived, again no check."

"I offered to go over to their house and get the check, but they apologized for not keeping up with their schedules."

"So the day before the wedding, I contacted my brother and his fiancée and double-checked."

“They blew me away and told me I'm a selfish bitch for charging them when I'm not charging the rest of the family and they refused to pay but demanded I bake the cake.”

"I said no and explained my terms again."

"They called me selfish AH and said I better make the damn cake."

"I said no again."

"So on the day of the wedding I decided not to attend because they showed me so much disrespect."

"Well my brother, his fiancée and his family are now blowing up my phone and sending me all kinds of nasty messages."

"My family is trying to stay out of this, but I don't think I should be messing with them like that."

"INFO: Charged $400."

"AITA for not making the cake after refusing to pay me?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on the matter and weighed some options on the AITA issue:

  • NTA - Not the asshole
  • YTA - You are the idiot
  • NAH – There is no asshole here
  • ESH - Everyone sucks here

Many Redditors have stated that OP is NOT the idiot.

"They knew exactly what they were doing."

"To anyone who is making your life miserable, tell them, 'Of course you can bake her a free wedding cake!' NTA."~ Mdthomas See More

"What's worse is that it wasn't just for her."

"It was by no means a small wedding."

"It was for 75 people!"

"It's too much cake!"~PampaManda_2021 See More

"Hello! Pastry chef here!"

"In my cake class, they told us that most large weddings of 150+ people actually do something like this."

"It's quite common for the top or bottom tiers of a wedding cake to be fake Styrofoam, just covered with icing or fondant."

"And only the plane that is actually cut is a real cake, or even just a small part of that plane."

"This section is cut for the photos and ceremony of the entire first part, then the caterers bring the cake back to 'cut' and serve."

"What actually happens in many cases is that the only real layer is cut and served for the bridal shower or boxed and saved for the couple, and the guests are given slices of large pancakes, which are much easier to serve for adults. number of guests."

"Based on what we learned in class, $400 for a fully homemade cake with two layers (probably multiple layers of cake per layer is standard 2 or 3) ranges from $500 to $800 depending on taste and." Decoration."

"$400 is mostly just trimmings and decorations, which is a pretty low labor cost that there will be TONS of."

"Absolutely NTA."~ Current_Status1867

"Yeah, I was going to say the 400 probably just covers the ingredients."

"If the OP were a business and billed like a restaurant, it would, on average, cost a 3.5x multiplier of its ingredient costs to cover staff, pay rent, and make some profit."

"Which means they could have paid $1,500 for the cake and instead refused to pay $400."

"It's crazy how cheap they are. NTA OP."~ DrkWhiteWolf See More

"So I'm a home baker under home food laws."

“The smallest cake I would make for 75 people is a 6'-8'-10' 3-tiered cake that would feed about 78 people with slices of wedding cake.”

"I would charge $240 for a nude-style cake with no floral arrangements, embellishments, colors, or anything special."

"Literally minimal."

"Add what I would charge for a cake fully covered with buttercream, fondant, designs, flowers, embellishments, colors, anything special, the price would go up to $400 ($20, $40, $60 for any floor size)".

"Considering that the OP probably had to buy extra special sized pans for such a large cake, they are priced in the right range, perhaps even below average, especially considering the increased cost of eggs and butter and the cost of fresh strawberries .”

"Add in that the couple will likely cut and serve themselves OR have guests cut it, they would need a much larger cake to get 75 party-sized portions rather than smaller wedding-sized portions."~ Happy_Flow826

"NTA... they agreed to pay you and then pushed you like they would."

"If they couldn't or didn't want to pay, they should have discussed it with you."

"They lied and then blew up at the last minute and asked for something for nothing."

"If all of you had talked about it like adults, there might have been compromises or alternatives, but they chose to behave like children and avoid them."~ Thaliagorgon See More

"NTA. And for a 25-year-old woman, you have a remarkable ability to set and enforce boundaries without guilt.”

"I think a lot of people in your situation would have made the guilt cake and then been pissed that they left with all that time and money."

"Then they posted here and wondered if it was the AH because they got mad and kept asking for the money afterwards."

"Anyway, people would be upset."

"Because they are legitimate users."

“You hang up in front. Good job!"~ NormalerweiseWrite2

"Your brother and current wife have the title of AHs, but you are definitely an NTA."

"They were upfront about fees, and $400 for a wedding cake for 75 people is pretty cheap."

"They agreed to it and then tried to get you to do it for free - AT THE LAST MINUTE."

"The fact that her family is growing shows the level of family aspiration that's going on there."

"That's the kind of thing that would make me go for L[ow] C[ontact] or N[o] C[ontact]. It doesn't sound like you're missing out on much."~ DbasedNYC

"NTA. Seems like they didn't want to pay in the first place and figured the OP would cave at the last minute."

"They should have communicated any reservations, anger or disappointment in a timely manner."

"Textbook case of fuck you and figure it out."

"You're screwed with this one."

"The $400 the OP was asking is essentially a token amount that could (could!) cover the cost of ingredients and have enough left over to buy lunch."

"Not to mention the time and effort that would not be compensated."

"They couldn't find anyone for less unless they went to the grocery store's ready-to-eat section and did some cooking and crafting at home."

"It's true that sometimes you sacrifice for friends and family, but this was a big ask with the other party trying to break the deal at the last minute and still get what they want."

"OP is NTA all day."~ ABeerAndABook

Well OP, Reddit understands your frustration.

Everyone deserves to pay what they're worth.

I hope this can be resolved peacefully... one day.

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